So I want to start of by saying, I love and adore my boyfriend. He is great, loving, and caring. He isn’t a big supporter of money mindset though, which has proven to be a stressor in our relationship. We were in different places financially, he was making a significantly higher amount than me, and I was still trying to figure out what it was that I wanted to do as a career. His approach to money was to always say he was broke, and always question me on if I could afford to do something I wanted to do. It drove me CRAZY! I would even try and talk to him about how it made me feel to be making soo much less than him, but to constantly have to listen to him talk to me about how broke or poor he was. It was even more insulting to have him tell me I am broke, or question how I want to spend my money. The way he looked at these situations were so different than how I did and I realized I wouldn’t be able to change his views and feelings. This mindset had worked for him, so he felt no need to change how he viewed money. So I decided that on my journey to having a good and positive mindset on money I would have to learn how to turn his behavior into a positive for myself to make our relationship work and continue to grow together.
My first step to succeeding financially with a partner, who doesn’t support your money mindset journey, is to turn their negativity into motivation! I know for me I had a very specific incident that created this whole spark in how to even work past this disagreement and still be able to journey through money mindset for myself. One morning I went to coffee with his sister and we were discussing money mindset and how much we didn’t realize we were wired to think certain ways about money and earnings. She is further along in her journey, so she was telling me how she really felt that she was ready to really receive and no longer had these fears around money like she once had. I was telling her about the webinar I had watched the night before and how it was talking about how the comments loved ones make about money to and around you affect your subconscious so much. I explained how her brother talks to me about money and how I wanted it to change. I left coffee and went straight to lunch with my boyfriend. I started the conversation; “so I was talking to your sister about money mindset and how I don’t like how negatively you talk about my money to me.” He immediately started trying to defend himself and it turned into a very unproductive fight, where I never even got to explain money mindset and how his words negatively affect my journey in money mindset and my ability to grow financially. I left that lunch crying, feeling so defeated. I got home and asked myself “is this something you want to break up over, or do you want to find a way to work past it?” I decided it was a relationship worth saving and felt this surge of motivation and inspiration. I said to myself “f his views on money, I have my own to work on and I will prove to him and myself that I know what I am doing, and I am capable of being financially free, my way!” I also felt an immediate sensation of purpose. Let me explain. The webinar I had watched the night before said, “find a problem you have, that you think others will have too and solve it and then share it.” Once I felt and processed my emotions after leaving the lunch, that sensation of purpose was that I had found my problem that others have, and I was going to solve and share it. So here we are. I have solved my problem of how do I manage to continue a relationship with someone who doesn’t have the same view points on money mindset as me, and now I am sharing it with all of you!
The first change I had to make, once I had my motivation, was to not let his viewpoints and opinions affect my subconscious and me. No matter how hard we try to convince them we are right, we are not all going to always have the same values and ideals our partner does. I had to make a conscious effort that every time he talked negatively about money, I had to tell myself “these are his beliefs, not mine. I know that I have financial abundance. I love money, and money loves me. I have a never ending flow of money coming into my life.” I needed to make sure that I was nurturing my subconscious with money positive thoughts and to immediately dismiss his money negative comments. Most of us are on our phones frequently during the day, so I also recommend quickly looking up some money positive affirmations real quick if you can feel your partner’s words affecting your thoughts on money.
Another very important step to take is to make sure you keep up with your money mindset exercises. This is a very important step for everyone, but especially for those who are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support their money mindset journey. You need to constantly be giving your subconscious the valuable positive messages, and reaffirming your love and easy accessibility to money. Make sure that no matter how much you don’t think you need it, that you are doing your morning and nightly money magnet meditations. Make sure that every time you see money you make a big deal about how much you love it and how happy it makes you. Make sure that every bill you get, you quickly pay it and are thankful that you have the funds to pay it on time. Make sure you are doing all of this every day, and every time. It is sooooo important!
Hope you all are able to continue your money mindset journey, even if someone in your life doesn’t understand or support it!